DC #2

My 2nd meeting at my divorce care group.

The lesson was on "Divorce is like grief," the lost of something special in your life. It was hard and it hurts like it was death. The death tells you that all your plans, dreams, goals, hope for the future are gone. That you are no longer two but one, a torn one. When two get married they become on flesh and when you divorce the two separate.. only that they do not separate, they are torn apart. Have you ever seen a torn meat from an animal, it is never on a dotted line, it is never neat or right down the middle perfect, NO!! it is ripped, zig-zag with dripping edges.

You now have to realize that you have to change your thinking. When you use to think and do for two you now have to do it all for one, you are now single and me at 40 + years old now have to do that and it sucks. Healing from this will take time a lot of time and I am just beginning. A lady in my group says she gets 2 hrs sleep each night because she is afraid to sleep alone, that she doesn't think she could face her future alone, she might have to find someone,anyone to help fill the frighting void. I don't recommend that "from the pot into the fire" is where she will end up.

My father has been dead for over 25 years and it still pains to think about him, that he is gone never to return. Is that how it will be I was told that as the years go on I will think about him less and less and that is hope at least for me. I asked the group will he ever feel the pain and know he was the one who step outside our marriage. One man said why am I concern if he will get his, he is no longer my problem and that is between Winston and God. He is right and I should spend my time on me and look to my future and leave Winston alone.

I feel like the kids in the car on a long long road trip, asking dad " Are we there yet?"