My Valley

Well, the family is gone, TNoya is back in Galveston and school is open. It is amazing how you can get use to sleeping late in only a week's time and now getting up 6am is a struggle. Thank God I only have 13 days before it closes again.

I am not sure I am looking forward to Christmas. This year I am in the valley of decision, I am tired, and to some point, frustrated. I don't want to shop, cook or put up a tress, it all seems like too much work for me. I keep coming back to my age and how I want things to be different, I don't want to find myself making the same mistake as I did 20 years ago, I don't want to struggle with the same crap as before. Life is too short and I am on the last half and I want to move forwards, upwards and onwards. I guess it is because my father died at the age I am now and I do realize how much he had ahead of him and how he worked himself and never found that time to relax and enjoy life. I don't want that and I struggle in finding the right balance in my life.

Seeing Red on Black Friday.

In-laws are in town, met my 7 months old nephew Zaiah and he is a beauty. I am happy to have them here and the change is great. My girls are home and Thanksgiving was really nice. I do realized, whiles watching everyone eat and laugh from great food and embarrassing "old stories" how blessed I am and I paused to say Thank you.

Yesterday for the first time EVER, I attempted to go to the mall on "Black Friday". My Lord,!!!!! are people really serious? It was as if the mother ship finally arrived and people had to get the last shopping in. It was a toss salad of people, every veggie was represented. My mother in laws had foot surgery and so we had to get her a wheel chair, think of that with 100,000 people stampeding towards you. All of that reminded me of why I hate shopping so much, the rude people, the slow one, the rushed ones, the lines at the cash register, at the bathroom, at the fitting room, at the restaurants, even trying to park we were met with lines. There were crying babies, cell phone LOUD talkers, angry mothers with lots of children, husbands you could tell were dragged to this great event, slow old people who should have just stayed home and drink tea. Yes.... what an experience, one I hope not to try again. On top of all of this it was rainy, cold, and windy...... yes Winter is here!!!!!

Signs of the times

I am off for Thanksgiving week, which I think I can enjoy once I get over this stupid cold. I am looking forwards for this Texas weather to change and for in-laws to come. Any change right now would be a good one. I do enjoy my in-laws in spite what other people say about "in-laws". They have always treated me like their own and never a harsh word, I am blessed.

You know what has surprised me this year, how all the stores and homes have by pass Thanksgiving and are already to Christmas? There are houses in you neighborhood that already have Santa, lights, tress decorated and in place. The stores are filled with Christmas supplies, what has become of Thanksgiving? Are we living in a world where to be thankful for one day is of no concern. I know the world has changed and just the simple, meaningful things in life are being pushed aside. We are so busy to make that next buck and fast as we can that we have no place to say "Thank you". I guess this is just one of the signs of the times.

Tomorrow my sister-in-law and I will be preparing for the Thanksgiving meal, she is a better cook and I am not into all that craziness especially after this flu. I am not sure how much I look forwards to Christmas other than the days off, maybe it would be one I will never forget, hopefully for the better. It is hard when you have a love one who died around Christmas ( maybe God should take December off for people to die) it is suppose to be a time of happiness and celebration. It is hard for those who have to celebrate alone because their families are so far away. Oh Well...... we'll see

Right here

It has almost been a month since I blogged. Things have changed a bit, but I am not sure if it is for the better or worse I am still trying to figure that one out. School is closed for Thanksgiving, yeeeeeeeahhhhh!!!!! I have been in bed for the last 2 day because of the flu and awaiting my in-laws to arrive on Wednesday. It would be a nice change, to be with family, to see my new nephew from New York and just to relax and have a change of pace.

My dance and piano lessons have been going quite well, I have enjoyed being taught by my daughter who has awaken pains in areas I did not know I had but the class take me away to a much tranquil, ocean air sense of calmness.

Another B-Day

I sat down the other day in my swing outside, it has been a long time since I did that. The sky was clear, sun shining and the cool air blew across my face, caressing it ever so gently. I begin to think about my life, where I have been, where I am now and where will I be going. Life has not being all that bad as I look proudly at my girls who has grown up so mature, responsible, beautiful young women, making a pathway for themselves. Now that they don't require my full attention, care and advice I stand not knowing where to turn. I feel naked and lost, I am not sure who I am. We as mothers invest our whole lives into our children and home ( time, money and effort) and when they are gone we are not sure what to do.... so guess what.... I decided to find ME !

On Monday night I attended my first (of many) adult jazz class. It was wonderful, of cause I ache in places I have long forgotten but I felt renewed when I left. It took me back to the days when dance was a big part of my life and how much I enjoyed it. The most amazing part of it all, my instructor is my own daughter, TNoya. Now is that not life in reverse, the student has now become the master. She was so proud of my efforts. I have also signed up for piano lessons at my school, yeah at my age but I am going to enjoy this new chapter of my life.

My birthday is tomorrow and I am thankful for life and families. I am not sure what this year will bring for me but I plan to get up and do something. It ain't over til its over!!

No more Candies!!!!

The students find my classroom everyday, even if I don't have them and why, to see me ...no. It is because of the big candy jar I have on my desk. The come in smiling, stand there, look at me and then wait for me to say "Yes, just one" and then they are gone.

On Friday I had the fright of my life. I was giving my grades 6 & 7 an English test, the room was quiet and then... a student begin to choke. He had swallowed the candy and was in a panic. The class of cause was frighten and shocked. I went over to him ( calming ) and told him to stand, relax and I did the "Heimlich maneuver".( see watching tv in not all that bad) He spat up on the desk, I told him to go wash his face and take a drink of water. It was only after that did my entire body freak out. The children were amazed and clapped cheerfully for me but I was shaking all over. I always thought it would be my 3 year old class not my six grader. After this I am not offering ANYONE anymore candy!!

Confused....

I am home on holiday today( Discovery Day)...great I can sleep in. Although it is a day that I can catch up with grading papers and cleaning house I am not one who stands behind this holiday.

I am from the place (island ) that Christopher Columbus really discovered and I don't think he needs to be celebrated. I have always said he brought nothing but diseases, disaster,

destructions to the native people. How can he claim ownership for Spain and say he discovered it when someone else was already living there.....explain that to me. He also came with men who were in prison in Spain that agreed to the adventure rather than jail. What kinds of havoc did they caused. He opened up doors for slavery so why is he celebrated I am confused.